Delicious Ambiguity

So it’s June. I’m officially Danielle Lyn Remigio, M.S.

In my opinion? Way more impressive sounding than how it feels. Maybe it’s because I’ve been in the classroom year after year since I was two years old. Maybe it’s because I felt like my classes were simply a supplemental aid to my job that lead me to have the qualifications to land a full time job; a stepping stone to real life.

But it’s not that simple, really. I know that if it weren’t for my master’s work I wouldn’t be nearly as capable in a job as I feel I am now. The theories learned, assessments created, and connections made were an integral part of my confidence in the field and my place in it. Northeastern became a family. #CSDClove will forever be a mantra in my heart. Me and Boston? We were meant to be.

In a few short weeks I’m moving my life to Rhode Island and will be joining the Roger Williams University Residence Life family. New state, new start= new me? We’ll see.

Apprehension, anxiety, and overwhelming anticipation. I get to run a larger staff, advise an NRHH, and live on the water. I’m afraid of leaving my city security blanket of bright lights and cityscapes but I know that I need to take the leap and know that my career can only start when I allow it to.

Today I read an article on my beloved Thought Catalog entitled “53 Quotes That Will Make You Rethink Everything” One really struck a chord with me as I finish my last week at my assistantship at Bay State College. The quote said:

“I wanted a perfect ending. Now I’ve learned, the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next. Delicious Ambiguity.” ― Gilda Radner

Delicious Ambiguity. An oxymoron? Not today. It can’t be a fear of the unknown anymore. The unknown is all around us. Split seconds of knowledge run through us in the ever passing present. Our days are never fully planned, conversations aren’t written out in advance to ensure the perfect outcome. We allow for fate, a higher power, karma etc, to guide us to make our next decisions because let’s be honest- we don’t have a lot of control of what will happen.

Trust me. That fact is just as terrifying as anything for a Type-A control freak like myself. But when it comes to moving, starting over, not knowing, I have to swallow that fear down or it will swallow me.

So moving forward, I want to make a purposeful effort to share how all this is going. Share my new life and experiences. Maybe this’ll become a good sounding board and mode of reflection as I actually become an adult no longer labeled as “student”.

Keep an eye out for future opportunities to soak up that delicious ambiguity.

Best,

Danielle Lyn

PWAS (Post Wedding Aggrivation Syndrome)

So for the past three weeks my physical self has been in Boston on autopilot going to work, classes, meetings and the like while my mind was focused on one thing: My Best Friend’s Wedding.

No, not the Julia Roberts movie although that is a crowd favorite.

 

This past weekend finally was the piece de resistance: wedding day. Between hair and makeup, the ceremony almost being pulled inside due to the ever changing New England weather and shotty forecasts, and speeches that made me cry, it was one hectic, crazy, enjoyable day.

Then I came back to Boston. I don’t know if it’s the dirty water or the immense lack of sleep but I could just feel the fury boiling internally. I had meetings and class straight from four until nine thirty and immediately put myself to bed in hopes of waking up on the right side of the bed Tuesday morning.

As this week progressed the mood did not go away. It was like a dark cloud of angry hanging over my head for no reason.

So I tried a few things to alleviate the haze:

Coffee- NO results. Unheard of in my realm of addiction

Chocolate Ice Cream- only made me feel like I should diet. So I get more annoyed.

Reading- Even JK Rowling couldn’t brighten my spirits this week.

Music- Country is starting to get on my nerves…(Said NO ONE EVER BESIDES ME THIS WEEK)

 

Needless to say I was in a slump.Until last night. What didn’t I mention in the afformentioned list of failures? Human Interaction. I was keeping myself locked up for fear of spreading PWAS that I kept myself from releasing the pent up rage. So thank you Lauren for letting me spill the contents of this week’s craziness. I woke up a little happier today.

 

Now if it could only be Monday so I won’t be on call anymore….eh. Over it.

 

~Danielle Lyn

Body Language

So I’m heading home from Lesley and miss the first train back into Boston. No big deal, right? I have some extra time to spare and have extra time to listen to Babel and Little Broken Hearts. Never hurts to tune the world out with a pair of bright red headphones and some good music.

As I came down the stairs an internal question plagued me…where do I sit? There are long wooden benches stretching the sides of the Harvard Square outbound station. I can tell people share my inward anxiety over personal proximity to others. Other T takers are evenly spaced between each other…just enough to be far enough away yet close enough to allow the same courtesy to another passenger.

So I’m waiting and more people filter downstairs yet no one sits down. Why? Because only one body spot separated me from the next person and no one wants to be that close.

When did we become afraid of contact? Is it everyone? Am I crazy? No. There are the outliers that invade that cherished bubble and annoy the general public. Same goes for the T itself. God forbid you sit directly next to someone rather than stand for your half hour commute.

Now I’m standing as we pass stops and are there open seats? Absolutely. And no…I will not sit down. Call me a hypocrite for criticizing my own behavior. I don’t care. Because I know you would be doing the same thing.

Maybe I’m over analytical. Maybe living in a city and using public transport gets old. Or maybe human behavior is slightly more amusing to me than most people.

Either way this post is really for me to post an observation rather than give my sparse readership an ounce of entertainment. Hey, maybe I’ll kill two birds with one stone this time.

Ah here’s my stop. Gotta go!

I Love My Staff

Everyone knows that the life of a Residence Life (para) Professional is the most frustrating, hilarious, anxiety inducing and rewarding job out there. Being in my second year as a Resident Director, I’m slowly shifting from my mentality of ” I was an RA I can do this”  to “OK let’s see how to help this year’s staff” and work from the outside. Not the easiest shift in focus but it has been rewarding just the same.

So why bring this up now? It’s the end of September, not the beginning of the school year. Well…I needed to share an email I received from a staff member. Each night my staff sends me a log recounting the events of the night just to check in with how the building is going. Now I have the best staff ever and they have made it their mission to amuse me with these logs regardless of the content. It definitely puts a smile on my face.

Saturday night was a quiet night in my building (praying to the ResLife gods clearly worked in my favor that night), and my RA send me the following log:

This log is entilted “Silent Night” which I have chosen to display to you in a poem,

‘Twas an eve in September, as the fall air grew chilled
I dashed back from College Fest feeling quite thrilled,
I made it to duty as the clock had struck 7
After a day of walking the black couch felt like heaven,
I had gathered swag from my day of free stuff and great fun
Gathering my belongings for duty which had just begun,
All residents remained quiet and did not make a peep
Thankfully I had a Rockstar so I would not fall asleep,
I watched a Saturday night program and enjoyed it with such laughter
Mumford and Sons performed and I went on a round thereafter,
The last sketch was upon us, and the rain drops did fall
‘Twas such a desolate night, the POC I need not call,
All guests were out by 1 and the night’s duty was concluded
Much to my dismay violations were eluded,
I cap of my duty with this ye olde log I do write,
Thus ends the tale of a successful Silent Night.

(So basically nothing happened while I was on duty, nothing to report)

-Chelsea
I couldn’t stop laughing. She later came to my office to tell me that she needed to liven up the night because it was so quiet and figured I was sick of reading reports that said “nothing happened” or “basically pretty quiet”. Honestly the smile hasn’t left my face. Oh the creativity of RA’s.
So I continued on with my day, breaking for lunch of course, and coming back to meet with my RHA president for our weekly 1on1. She hands me a t-shirt from our tie dye event and I look at it in awe saying how great it looks.

Then she told me it was for me…and  I looked at it..and realized it had my name on it..said adviser..and a big RHA.

#MooseloveTOTHEMAX

Now, our RHA is a handful people big but I couldn’t be prouder of them. It’s so awesome knowing that I have a president who was willing to take the time to do this for me when honestly I feel as though I’m the small fish in a big pond of advisers. Gives me hope. Tie dye always gives people hope

Here’s the awesome t-shirt!!

Bay State College RHA

Adviserrrrrr

Love my President

Assess the Assessment…And Other Practicum Stories

Now that classes have begun, I’m starting to come to the realization that being in over my head is like a trade I wish to master. However, with a super supportive practicum instructor and supervisor along with some great people here at home with Bay State, I think I might be able to manage the craziness that accompanies my daily happenings (oh…and clearly my friends are my sanity as well…shout out y’all!)

Today I got to sit in on an all-faculty meeting at Lesley for my practicum. It was fun to see all the faculty for the undergraduate college and hear how they debate things and different issues. Now…many of my friends come from a student affairs heavy background and it was strange to see how different the dynamic was from what we’re used to. Not bad…just different.

So then I sat down with my supervisor and went over assessments for the semester…and assessed the assessments (giggle with me…it’s funny…i promise #sagradNERD). So far so good, though! I love that I’m able to really make a difference. Not much has actually taken off just yet but knowing my voice is heard and that I’m included proves that I’m at the right place at the right time. Woo!! Go Lesley!

p.s….fellow CSDC’ers? Why am I slightly excited to start working on my portfolio..I have issues.

Okay. Bed time. Gotta work and learn about the LAW. Boom. Grad School. Leggoooo <3

~Danielle Lyn

Maine- That is all

So this weekend I got on my Amtrak train and headed up the coast to Biddeford, ME. I was so excited because I was visiting Steve with Marissa who drove all the way from New York to spend the weekend. Between the beach, the brick, the waterside houses and kind faces, I was in love.

Check please, when can I move?

I’ve been lucky enough to go on these weekend excursions this summer and it has really helped to break up the workweek with something less mundane than watching shows on Netflix or reading another 50 Shades of Grey book. I have really grown to love the beach from these trips, though. It is such a mental escape to hear the tides and smell the salt. I even tried lobster! (note: i was a picky child and don’t consider myself any less picky…so this is big for me).

I think the best part was the company. Steve and Marissa are some of my oldest college friends and being able to relax, laugh, and not worry about anything was exactly what the doctor ordered before pro-staff and RA trainings take over my brain. 

This may come as a shock to those that know me but I really have never spent time in Maine. So our drive through Old Orchard Beach, dinner and shopping in Kennebunkport, and lunch in Portland were all new for me. It just was another reason to write in the books for why I love New England so much. Everyone should spend a day walking around and soaking in the unique cobblestone, seaside restaurants, and tourist attractions. 

Who can’t love a place that has stores like “Cool as a Moose”?. (yes, the picture below is of my new moose stuffed animal- name suggestions are now welcome).

Needless to say I had a great weekend and am soaking this comp day up as much as possible. Gotta take advantage of the calm before the storm.

 

Ps. anyone in Boston that reads this should go to the 6B Lounge for Trivia. You need to experience being beaten by Team Zombies Ate My Face.

See ya there,

Danielle Lyn

The Dichotomy of My Cleanliness

I have an internal dilemma that has been coursing within me for about…three years now. 

When I was a kid, well, more-so in high school when my anal retentive tendencies kicked in, my room would be so clean that I could tell if you moved something on my bookshelf. My freshman year of college my bedspread, adorned with pink and brown stripes, had to be perfectly made and straight each day or I would cringe.

And then I became an RA. Do I really blame it on this? Not really. But once I had my own space that I could close the door to my floor was littered with papers, clothes, and TV remotes.

I look around my apartment and I CRINGE. I have way too much stuff. I moved in here almost three weeks ago and i have been living out of suitcases and haven’t unpacked about 2 boxes worth of belonging…and i haven’t really decorated. This to me is almost sadder than the mess.

So today I make a vow. I vow to clean. I vow to make things sparkle as much as a 100 year old building can. I’m channeling my inner OCD (which exists in my job and classwork…strange) and organize this place like a Home and Garden show.

 

1…2..3..BREAK!

~Danielle Lyn

Too Close by Next

I am scarred for life…these lyrics leave ZERO to the imagination. Also, I have a new perspective on “you’re making it hard for me”.

And I thought Scream by Usher was bad.

I can’t. The lyrics.

morning coffee and hair ties

So this is my second week  working at 8am every day at my assistantship here at Bay State College and there are some definite perks.

1. Most days me and my soon to be ex-director (tear tear) are the only ones here so listening to music and cracking jokes just adds to the sunrise pleasantries.

2. I get to have my coffee in peace.

3. I get stories like this.

 

So my boss on non-scorching hot days rides her “brokcycle”to work . Hair down under her safety helmet she runs into the office saying the worst thing in the world happened: she forgot a hair tie. Oh no…my Mary Poppins-esque backpack was recently emptied in a purging excursion and I dont have my usual backup…so I offer her my own.

Her reward? A coffee just for me. In my mind that is a fair trade.

Now I’m tie-less which for anyone know knows me is more than slightly unnerving but I’ll move on with my normal Friday routine: Suri’s Burn Book. #WhatShouldWeCallStudentAffairs, and oh…planning RA training.

It may seem like a “ya…and then you found $5 story” but the frantic nature in which my boss and I interact create more of a commotion than generally necessary. And I found it amusing this morning.

Coffee in hand, I’m ready to start the day

~Danielle Lyn

Dunks vs ‘Bucks- A Geographical Distinction

Okay so many people know that I have a severe coffee addiction. I spent 46 agonizing days during my lenten sacrifice pining over the caffeine enhanced elixir and somehow came out on the other side.

On Easter I was walking to a friend’s apartment and asked if she wanted coffee on my way over. She denied my request quickly upon hearing I was choosing Dunkin’ Donuts to caff up. After that  I realized that many people do have an allegiance to one or another. Me, if I had the choice I would choose DD’s but let’s be honest; I just want my coffee.

I started thinking about it more and thought about what I had heard from friends that live further away. Dunking Donuts can’t be seen on every corner like it can here in Boston. In other places it is dominated by Starbucks, Green Mountain generic places, or Tim Horton’s. Here you can walk around and see every one walking with a Dunks Md Iced of some sort.

Living in Boston I have the ability to walk by both of these major chains on a daily basis. Just the other day I walked by Dunks and saw a long line. I walked further down the street and went to Starbucks instead. You walk into any Starbucks and there are plush couches, novelty items, italian sizing, and indie folk music playing instead of the typical radio repeats. It is truly a coffee “experience”. Their going green techniques and reusable mugs are not only environmental but savvy to the young graduates and top level employees that frequent the establishments. College and grad students are red eyed in the couches over their MacBooks with their Vente Caramel Lattes streaming Ingrid Michaelson.

Now think of any Dunkin Donuts you have ever been in. Small places, a few tables in the suburbs locations, quick lines, and combo meals to quicken the pace and decrease the costs. Efficient, timely, fast-paced. I love it. I love my Md Mocha Iced with cream. Some places know my order when I walk in.

Think back to what I said about geographic locations. Dunkin Donuts is heavily concentrated in the Northeast. We are an area known for a fast paced, “get out of my way”, need-30-hours-in-a-day mentality. We need that immediate attention and service to get on with our crazy, hectic lives. Dunkin Donuts feeds into that with a no frills attitude. Why sells mugs and t-shirst when you can sell coffee to keep crazy Bostonians awake during their day? That’s what we need and Dunks provides.

Starbucks flourishes with the crowd that is willing to enjoy their coffee experience. A friend of mine said when he started traveling south for school he was quickly frustrated by the slower pace of life. Three years later he loves it and has adapted to the culture. Everywhere else takes the time to enjoy their coffee like a cocktail or glass of wine. Not here. I drink my coffee so fast before class or work I forget I bought it in the first place

Obviously there is more to the establishments than where they are located. But I just find it interesting that the term “Boston runs on Dunkin” is so true. Many of us like Starbucks but up here we need a “medium regulah” not a “vente coffee with cream and sugar”. takes too long.

Maybe I’m pointing out the flaws in Bostons way of life; maybe I’m just pointing out flaws in my own way of life and this entry is irrelevant to everyone besides myself. Regardless, the option for me to walk down the street and enjoy a break from running around will be there but when I need that quick fix I know what door I will always walk into.

Just food for though.

~Danielle Lyn